This is the hardest post I have ever made and hopefully ever will. My Lexi crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday, 9/6/2013. She went to sleep peacefully in her bed with her favorite toy surrounded by love and family. Part of her ashes will be scattered at dog beach, our favorite place. I have several nicknames for her Lexi, Sexy Lexi, Golden Girl and Bright Eyes. I called her Lexi and Sexy Lexi mostly.
I said good-bye to Lexis’ physical body but not her spirit. As I was standing outside waiting for her to leave this earth, I was sending her love and trying to send Reiki (spiritual energy). You should be ‘centered’ to send Reiki, I was anything but centered. Reiki also helps animals transition-pass on. Then I felt a peaceful unexplainable feeling wash over me. I felt a different kind of energy, I thought she was given the injection. I focused completely on Lexis, sending her love and Reiki. Not more than 20 seconds later, a lady came out and said it is done. What I felt was her actually leaving this earth. It was a very serene moment. Before I entered the building I asked the universe-Angels-God to make this a smooth peaceful process. And it was. I couldn’t have asked for more…given what had to be done.
Lexis came into my life 4 years ago, at age 7, when her owner could no longer take care of her. Her sister Heidi was our families’ first rescue, who came into our lives a few months before. They knew each other from the same boarding kennels, where Heidi was abandoned. Lexis’ owner did not abandon her but gave her away. My daughter worked at this kennel. I fell in love with her the first night with me. She is very loving, tolerant, patient and social and was a great help to all the animals that came into our home. Lexis and Heidi was the beginning of my family helping animals in need.
Lexis belongs to the San Diego Golden Retriever Meetup Group. She joined in many of their festivities, Pet Day on the Bay, parades, Halloween costume contests, Spa day, and just hanging out with the gaggle of goldens, as Sue always says. We went to movie night, her favorite part was the snacks. 🙂 She went to many pet adoption events to support animals in need and attended fun events like Dog Days of Summer. She was blessed at one event and received a certificate.
Lexis favorite place was the beach. Even as her legs lost their strength over the past year, she would still run and swim until I made her quit, knowing she would be sore. I had a golden retriever that would not retrieve on land, only water. She would run ahead of me into the water, lay down, dunk her head, run back to me and then we walked together down the beach as she ran in and out of the water. Rolling in the sand and back in the water, waiting for me to throw the ball. She also loved to play tug-o-war, hide n seek, and keep away; keeping her toy away from me as I tried to grab it. She always greeted human guests by bringing them a toy.
Lexi’s Last Days
I spent 24/7 with Lexis in the past week. I talked to her and prayed for her and with her. We spent one day making her a Facebook page. (Turns out this is good for the healing process, too). I always talked to her and we watched a lot of movies together. I have a book called ‘Paws to Reflect’ by Devon O’ Day & Kim McLean. It is a daily reflection of devotions for animal lovers who understand how much we can grow spiritually by learning from them. I spent one day reading this to Lexis. I can communicate (telepathically) somewhat with my pets. Still new and learning. I asked Lexis everyday “what can I do for you?” She always said “just be with me.” I asked her what movies she wanted to watch. One day she said ‘monkey’. I didn’t have any monkey movies, other than Planet of the Apes, so we watched that. But the monkey is her favorite toy and was with her till the end (in photo).
It is my belief that we all reincarnate, humans and animals. I asked Lexis all through the week to come back to me as a little fuzzy golden. I became really partial to goldens. And let me know for sure it is her. I believe when the time is right a little golden puppy will ‘come’ into my life and it will be Lexis’ spirit. My daughter is a ‘sensitive’, meaning she can see, hear, feel and talk to spirits. This may sound strange, but it is true; Heidi, her Shih Tzu can see spirits also. This is confirmed by my daughter and I have seen her many many times looking and barking when there is nothing there. Heidi is not a barker and is not one of those ‘bark at the doorbell’ type of dogs.
Pets that are left behind grieve just like we do. And like people, grieving will depend on how close they were. We help each other with hugs and kisses. I let them go through their grieving process, what ever they need to do. They all act differently. This is effecting Heidi more than the other pets, since they have been together for a long time. I know the day will come, Heidi will be barking, nothing there and it will be Lexis.
Though Lexis was with me for 4 short years, it does not diminish the love I have for her. I was laid off my 9-5 a couple of months after I got her and spent a lot of time with her. As a matter of fact, my whole life changed after she came to live with me! Animals became my world, started this blog, pet sitting, practicing Reiki (ray-kee) and learning about my true…spiritual self. I am still growing and learning. Actually this all started with Heidi, which led to Lexis. She came into my life to teach me! I still ‘talk’ to Lexis all the time. She told me to change the name of this blog to ‘Touch of Home’, and I did.
Heidi is just as sad as I am but still comforts me with hugs and kisses. She has hardly left the couch where Lexis spent most of her time and often sits by me. We keep talking to her siblings, showing them love. The loss of a pet, whether sudden or not, is quite traumatic. Most people, me included, think of them as family members.
Time does heal, if only it would move faster. Here are some things to help you through the grieving process.
Source: Kristi Freeman, DVM–Home Euthanasia and Hospice Practice
• Prayer and/or meditate with your spiritual or religious counselor.
• Treat yourself to small pleasures. Take a day off or go on a short vacation. Go for a long walk in the park and remember the great times you and your special friend had together.
• It’s OK if you feel as if you are not healing. It takes time, grief can hit like waves of the ocean. Sometimes they come in quick and hard (this is me), other times slow and steady. Routine things, such as smells or sounds can bring on a wave of grief. Holidays can be an especially tricky time.
• Everyone who’s ever been through the grieving process can assure you that you WILL heal and life will return to normal. It won’t happen fast enough (it never does) but that day WILL come.
• You are allowed to grieve, acknowledging your loss is an important part of the healing process. You are the one who knows how much your special friend meant to you.
• Learn about the grieving process. Know that what you are going through is a completely normal process
• Be patient. The grieving process must run its course. Don’t let anyone tell you how long or short the mourning period must be.
• Remember the life you shared together.
• It is alright to have the feelings that come with grief. Keeping a journal is a great way to release those feelings.
• Create a scrapbook, a blog or a website to honor your special friend. Make a special area with important items, such as toys, bedding and blankets.
• Do not forget your own needs. Exercise, eat well and get lots of rest. Even when you don’t want to.
• Rely on your support team. Friends, relatives, co-workers who understand what you are going through and can offer support.
• Seek professional help through grief counselors, pet loss support groups or therapists. Check with your local county animal services or humane society.
- I Dedicate This Blog to Lexis (thedogwalkersandiego.wordpress.com)
- A Message from Lexis (thedogwalkersandiego.wordpress.com)
- A Pet’s Prayer (thedogwalkersandiego.wordpress.com)