Letter to Lexis

lexis memorial box Lexis’ ashes were returned to me yesterday. I am scattering part of them at dog beach in Ocean Beach, CA and I am keeping part of them; her two-week anniversary of leaving this earth. My friend, Matt Kennedy is making a pet memorial urn. He makes his own pottery, tattoos on design and makes each piece with loving energy.

I wrote a letter to Lexis the other day, I wanted to share with you. One reason I do this is to help me through my grief and the other reason is to maybe help someone else going through the loss of their furry family member. Every one has their own process of grief. I like to write, memorialize her on Facebook and help other dogs in need, which we always did together. It is a great legacy to do something in honor of your pet.

Dearest Lexi,

I miss you so much! One day I was working on the computer and reached over to pet you, you weren’t there. I say good morning and good-night to you everyday. You are first on my mind and the last at night. I ask God every day to help me through this day without you.

I dedicated this blog to you and you will always be my inspiration. I keep up with your Facebook page we made together your last week with me. We are still helping dogs in need in your honor.

The smallest things remind me of you. When I see your picture, sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry. When I feed your siblings, I miss putting out your dish. Your siblings miss you terribly and we comfort each other.

I fell in love with you, your first night with me. It was a trial and you passed with flying colors. And things only got better from then. I remember all the things we did together, how nice you were to all our visitors and I smile.

Sometimes when I think of you and get very sad, you tell me, “I’m still here, do not weep.” You will forever be in my heart and my inspiration!

Love, Mom

lexis,heidi, duke, rey, cleo2


9 thoughts on “Letter to Lexis

  1. It feels different to you Paula, because when you lose a family member you lose with members of your family who share your grief at the same level, when you lose a pet that you’re very close to, you feel that way separate from everybody else, you lost your best friend and you’re lonely, and nobody really truly understands the extent of your love, the scars are fresh and very tender it takes time to heal .

  2. I am truly sorry for your loss. Your Lexis was very beautiful. When I lost my first dog, Casey, I wrote him a long letter and I put all his pictures in an album. I felt such a relief and sense of closure by doing that. It took me about a year to really let go of him, and i found that, at least for me, that writing helped me move on. I am so happy that you are helping dogs on Lexis name. What a beautiful tribute for such an amazing dog:)

    • Marcela, thank you so much for your comment! You don’t know how much it helped. I know everyone has their own way of grieving, it sounds like ours is the same. I scattered part of her ashes at dog beach, last Friday, thinking this would give me closure. It didn’t. I was just thinking today how long this is going to last. I guess it never goes away, only the pain diminishes. I am sorry for your loss. They will always be a part of us in our hearts.

      • Yes, they will always be a part of our hearts. It took me a whole year before I could say his name, Casey, without crying uncontrollably. But, even now, after years have gone by, there are times when I say his name or see a dog that reminds me of him and it makes me smile from ear to ear followed by some tears. You know what? He was and is worth every smile and tear I shed. Hang in there. The pain will diminish with time, but from experience I can tell you that you’ll never forget your furry kid:)

      • sometimes i feel bipolar. one minute i am laughing the next i am crying. the crying is slowing down. i know i will never forget my lexi. she changed my life is so many ways that i continue in her honor. 🙂

      • I don’t think you are bipolar:) What you are going through is what many of us go through. You have to mourn and this is a very hard period, but from experience I can tell you that it’ll get better. But, even years from now Lexi’s name or quirks will bring joy and some sadness. You loved her dearly, that is easy to see. Lexi changed your life and yes you should continue to honor her.

      • thank you so much for your thoughtful words, Marcela. I had always felt bad for the loss of pets, but now I can really sympathize with someone’s loss. I have lost many people in my life. But somehow this is so much different.

      • Yes, it is different and only people that are close to their pets would understand that without saying or thinking that we are terrible or weird people:)

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